Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
