no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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