now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
