New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
