Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
