found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
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