1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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