Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(859): View more from Kentucky

I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina

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(785): View more from Kansas

a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class

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(847): View more from Illinois

Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"

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(786): View more from Florida

i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"

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(941): View more from Florida

Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.

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(512): View more from Texas

I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.

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(540): View more from Virginia

I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes

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(415): View more from California

The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.

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