so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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