thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
