I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
