tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
i dont even know how to be here
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I didn't notice because vodka
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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