Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
