Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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