i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
