1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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