I am in a vortex of obligation.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
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