They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Randomize
