she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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