And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
