I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
My bed is full of blood and feathers
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
