Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Randomize
