he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Randomize
