I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
