she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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