Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
