Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
