Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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