And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize