and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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