He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Randomize
