Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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