I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
