Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
