At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
