im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
