Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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