I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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