wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
