She's JV to your varsity
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
