Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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