Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
