i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize