I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I just found a bag of teeth...
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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