Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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