I hate all girls vehemently.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize