do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
