she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
