Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
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