I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
that is very illegal...i love you.
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