I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize