I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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