i was rollin on her like bob the builder
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
