I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
