I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
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