Are we in a gay sports bar?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
