So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize